Honey, I got rythmns I haven't used yet
May. 18th, 2005
15 days to go. 15 DAYS. what.is.that.actually.about? oh but at least you've got time to revise, yes revise, 15 days to revise and yeah it went ok i guess, so so , spent too much time on the essay and couldnt stop worrying about how much that girl who looks a bit like peter pan was writing at the desk next to me. and yes its dead. a drowned ipod.total count : 2 computers two phones and said music machine. and even mr scruff singing about fish couldnt help my misery then and one drink..2..3..4 but the labrynth helped slightly "the dwarf is about to lead her back to the begnning...she'll soon give up when she realises she has to start ALL OVER AGAIN" says david bowies crotch (fie on those who ask why those breeches had to be quite so tight)_i would have given in at the beginning anyway..a crystal ball that will show me my dreams? fuck the baby. its ugly anyway.
May. 3rd, 2005
11:55 am - Three Apocalyptic visions
1. (about 3 weeks ago)
People from various stages in my life all seem to be living together in a Coronation street style, red brick terraced house. I enter, screaming Cassandra- like that the world is about to end. People roll eyes/laugh/tell me to shut up. We join a gathering crowd outside and meteors fall form the sky.Its quite pretty. Cut to smouldering ruins of earth, i am sitting on top of a hill with someone, (Kath? Hestia?)watching survivors loot and pillage and we come to the conclusion that it is not the huge burning rocks from the sky that will ultimately be our ruin but the greed of the remaining people.
2.(about a week ago)
This time, everyone knows the world is ending, we are being herded into two groups, the saved and the unsaved, though nobody knows which is which. I am queuing at a chip shop trying to buy cigarettes for my last night on earth (priorities emily?)i follow people into a house and someone tells me that all the exits have been blocked by rocks. It seems I am with the unsaved. We have a party
A more familiar scenario. I am watching earth explode from somewhere in space. This time nobody is with me. I dont seem to mind this however. I am quite looking forward to spending some time alone.
a)always have cigarettes in case the world is about to end.
b) When I tell you its about to happen people. believe me.
Apr. 28th, 2005
" Touch any part, on any sight,a sock, a hole, a wall, pictures, a resistance to museums, yet pictures always on the wall, and defining eras by those pictures. Wander looking for the odd lots, stop in front of something smallish, a little unofficial, by someone who did the best he could. Thats all. Or a self portrait by a woman no-one ever hears of. She. sincere intransigent. Or a few squares floating, by an escapee. One or two lines on a page. That's all I need..."
Apr. 26th, 2005
Why? That is what I ask today. In relation to :
my £11.60 library fine
the beautiful magic little silver box with all the pretty pretty music which I stepped on last night and will now only play the pretty pretty music into my left ear.
Im alarmed by all the people on campus who look like my friends if I was having a really bad dream where all my friends turned into slightly worse versions of themselves.
Ugly Amy is stalking me. She is a short, fat, mean, far less glorious ms Houston
Fake Dan was on the bus last week. reading the economist. He looks less like dan when he takes off his hat
A new addition is weird dark haired Mark. Kinda freakishly similar face but also just a bit scary.
Apparently there is fake Ed too knocking about somewhere. Seriously people. Get out of my face.
Apr. 24th, 2005
I liked it when Jeffrey Lewis sang about writing songs for people who didn't know they had songs written about them and that maybe people have written songs about you that you dont know about and are singing them right now.
I liked it when Fred Astaire sang about Audrey Hepburn's Sunny Funny Face.
I talked for six hours and 50 minutes last night.
Ive done no work
I'm going to dance tomorrow!
Apr. 20th, 2005
Sooooo. the best thing to do when somebody who has never even spoken to you pisses all over your future is to go to the countryside and lounge around on a bed for hours, have your cigarettes rolled for you, smear glycerin all over your face, eat endless pudding, dress up all day long and top it all off with a gin/wine/cava/potato extravaganza. AND get thanked for it.
So, so , so when Buffy and Faith fight each other in the library..with the watcher who is actually a demon..yeah..good tv.
I had loads to say. LOADS. a huge backlog of thought. Its gone. all gone.
How do I get pictures on this thing? something about uploading them to somewhere else first? crap. bring back the carrier pigeon I say.
Mar. 30th, 2005
Happenings. A woman on Hampstead Heath staring up into tree so i stared with her and then she made a funny little bird call and a tame thrush flew out and onto her hand and had dinner, and she's tamed it (she said) because when she used to come and feed the birds the crows would always eat everything up.
s:Do you know what I want to talk about?
"If it makes you feel any better, I killed my mother too. Well..technically she was already dead and then she tried to shag me so you know..I had to.."
Oh Spike. You're the only one for me.
My grandmother says I have wonky eyes.
she'd better be rich.
Mar. 18th, 2005
Hmmm. The last link is a little tempremental...it should take you to a site where you can create your own hero...down to the colour of his cape. Mira says this is testament to my desire to control the world. I disagree.
I'm fed up today.
Give me life on the edge!
Mar. 12th, 2005
The blank screen and the flashing cursor are mocking me.
there was 5p left in the vending machine though so I got a kit kat for 40p
Everybody needs a hero
Mar. 4th, 2005
SO. Things done to avoid actually writing the essay:
Read Hamlet (twice)
Read Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are dead(thrice)
written pages of well observed notes (22 sides, 11 pages)
numbered each point of above notes (44)
colour coded (red=r+g in Hamlet, black=r+g in r+g are dead)
MADE A FUCKING INDEX OF MY (NUMBERED!) NOTES FOR EASY FUCKING REFERENCING FOR FUCKS SAKE EMILY WRITE THE GODDAMN ESSAY
Carol is going to call me tomorrow evening at some point between 7 and 8 to help me with above problem. I am slightly nervous (what if she doesn't call..should I call her? Does that seem too desperate?)
Although Velvet Goldmine may not be a particuarly excellent film, Oh my lord the black pinstripe suit JRM wears in his youth is astoundingly beautiful. And Glam Rock Love really is better than all other types. And is Christian Bale actually english? And the age old question - Jonathan Rhys Meyers - what would I do for that man? Sacrifice a small child? yes.
"You can't act death...It's juat a man failing to reappear, that's all - now you see him, now you don't, that's the only thing thats real: here one minute and gone the next and never coming back - an exit, unobtrusive and unnanounced, a disappearance gathering weight as it goes on, until, finally, it is heavy with death."
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